i started a fire for you... and now the whole world's on fire.

i think.. i do this too easily.


By the way, this is about to be an insecure pointless little vent.


























is this an asian thing?
to move on from one guy, get over it for a while, and then do it again with a different guy? Anyway, i wish people would just tell me straight up why. None of this overrated excuse business. i am chock full of insecurity and i'm like my ANALytical English teacher x 2000 with this stuff. I overthink EVERYTHING. I delve so deep into it that I drown myself in a deep sea of anxiety and what if's and paranoid reasoning. Kind of. I know all of those things people say and how you're not supposed to go looking for it it's supposed to find you, etcetera, but i can't help it. and i know that i've made others feel like this before, in this unrequited position, but it really is very sucky. and i don't know what to make of it, or what to do with this one. another one. there's always one, isn't there? i just wonder what it would like to have it work out, what all the shouting is about, and i really would just like to be part of something like insanely awesome amazing tingly warm cool. that would be fantastic. and i want to feel pretty. i'm so sick of my inferiority complexes with just about everyone and i just can't stand it, i know all about how you're supposed to think you're beautiful so other people can think so too but i don't know how because everything gets to me. absolutely every little comment. i'm so sick of it i want to be the one that exudes confidence, but how can i? there's too many fucking pretty girls and it just heightens competition to impossible to meet levels. idk how to deal. idk how to over come this and i dont know how the fuck i'm going to do good on my midterms. any of them. except maybe like.. english.