Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Belated Year in Review: 2015

This is later than usual, so I'll dive right in.

January:
Still working and living in NYC--weird because it was the first year I had to take a limited number of days off for the holidays and work around the scheduling. I worked on New Year's Eve, and worked from home on the 1st. Went to Alex's for pizza on the first day of the new year with a Veneiro's cheesecake. Bought the Air Emirates deal to Milan. Winter restaurant week! Admitted students receptions, free pens, intimidation, excitement. FAFSA again... Booooo.

February:
Oh man. The worst boozy brunch experience happened--the infamous Sunday of Maria's birthday (which I believe was actually in March...) First Valentine's Day with Alex, who gave me a box of CVS chocolates because I requested it, even though he was going to get me Godiva. Still amazing. Very nice time. Very cold outside.

March:
Went to Europe!!! Milan->Madrid->Milan. Great times abound. Hung out with Landi and his friends in Madrid, lazed about, and confirmed that Spain is my soulmate country. Bought my first grown-up purse in Milan. Alex got his big boy watch. Celebrated St. Patrick's Day mostly sober, for the first time in many years. Or probably closer to it than I was any year in college. Started planning on attending law school. Began training for the half marathon. Friends visited.

April:
More anticipation for everything ahead. Continued training--actually got very fast for a bit. Missed Marathon Monday--commiserated briefly with fellow BC grads about how sad it was that we were not in Boston getting wasted or running or running wasted. Visited DC and saw GULC. Ate and ran. Enjoyed having money to spend.

May:
Hyannis half marathon! Jim Kelley, I think? Lovely Memorial Day weekend with the girls right before moving out of my first apartment. Committed to Georgetown. Braced myself for two months of commuting.

June:
Got class schedule--intense stuff. Started looking for books and things to do. Overzealous about adding friends on Facebook... Started commuting again. Blech. Slept in my grandparents room because it was easier. Can't actually remember why. Possibly because my room was a mess as I tried to sift through all the crap I'd collected over the years.

July:
Finished up the clean out process, sold some things on ThredUp, but not really enough... Stopped working, had a happy hour, promised to be back, etc.

August: 
Law Preview bootcamp... Blech. But it got me into the mode of studying and dealing with gunners. So there's that. Last month at home meant trying to fit in all the last minute things, spending time with Alex, packing, packing, packing, moving into my dorm. Eating blue crabs in Virginia, making new friends, adjusting to this weird high school+alcohol world. Plus bracing myself for the studying. Scavenger hunt, first week at Gewirz, partying, Bar Review, learning the vocab and the legal jargon, trying to be genuinely interested in legal things outside law school.

September:
Studying. It's always felt like the longest month to me, but this September was fast.

October:
Promising to hunker down. Had a birthday. Alex made me a box. Started lifting.

November:
Went to Spain for Thanksgiving, had memo drama as I struggled to properly submit my memo... Amazing time in Alicante, though. Another confirmation that Spaniards know how to live. Met cool people in Spain, drank too much wine, ate a ton of jamon iberico, ate a ton of everything, really.

December:
omg. Finals finals finals, freaking out, freaking out, drinking weird energy supplements, forgetting how to remember things, eating like crap, spending hours in the library frantically trying to learn everything, study group stress, study groupcest, etc. Christmas at home! Shopping and hanging out with Emily during her first winter break everrrrr.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Year in Review: 2014

January - the beginning of the end of something... VEGAS, La Jolla, dreaming big about the last and greatest semester of college. All set with a full lineup of classes with him again. Great idea, me.

February - started off innocently enough, but of course that doesn't last. The end of an era came at the end of this month and I didn't take it quietly or gracefully. But I slowly recovered at the same time I was collapsing into myself. Oh, and I took the LSAT.

March - The hellish spring break I begged to be allowed to go on... OOPS. But it turned out hilarious anyway because of the right people. Beginning to pull away because it was more than too late already. Met a boy who answered without long pauses, who smiled and laughed freely, who would give me the love I deserve. Cheese on cheese on cheese commence.

April - final marathon Monday.... going to Philadelphia, learning to be in a real, mutual relationship, dates (!!) and denying the upcoming Graduation. Also, laughing my ass off in Capstone.

May - coming to a close. Finished my thesis. Finished college. Left in a hurry, exchanging quick words with people I had stayed up all night with. Signed my first lease!!! With my roommate who I met freshman year and then didnt see again until senior year on Kairos. Full circle.

June - starting work at the end. Making avowals at the start. Learned how to wake up early.

July - unremarkable... Began working on the "desk," continue denying adulthood.

August - realizing that I was not going back to Boston at the end of the month. Sniff.

September - grandfathers 80th birthday celebration

October - turning another year older and not being able to handle hangovers anymore. Or day drinking.

November - passed along in a blur, moms second kosher turkey. Book of Mormon

December - another month passing in much the same way. Getting accepted

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

2013 Year in Review

January - went karaoke-ing at Japa's with people. interesting month. relatively peaceful.
February - fucking terrible.
March - went to Vienna to visit Clara. but then continued to be pretty terrible. AWP in Boston.
April - expectantly waited for things to get better with a certain situation. it didn't. bad decisions continue to abound, become more desperate, etc, etc, etc.
May - last day of school, embarrassing incident post-Macklemore's free concert.
June - work!
July - more work! visited Boston.
August - more work! Choi's birthday party
September - started senior year of college, determined to be better and be more etc... but alas. got series of essay-length texts being admonished for this and that. but it turned out okay.
October - birthday woo woo woo
November - still not bad... fairly stable--more so than usual. series of mini crises regarding same person.
December - unremarkable, planned for next semester, obsessed over things, etc, etc.


Monday, December 31, 2012

Annual State of the Union Review

January - don't really remember anything significant. Training for marathon continued...
February - same. Went on a blind date! Yada yada. Nothing of import...
March - Spring break trip--revelations. Wrote more angsty flash fiction about the same old, same old. Then, came the part where I found things out and whatnot and St. Patrick's Day, on which I drank for 12 hours, and more blah and more blah and more blah. Nothing changes really. Then the end of the month, post-Easter break, a good night and a good conversation. Recommenced sex life.
April - Marathon!!!!! Yeeeee. The 16, best day ever probably of 2012, awesome awesome awesome all around. April Fool's day was off without a hitch, really... That I can remember? I think? I don't even know. Maybe there was a monumental prank and I forgot.
May - finals, being lazy, can't remember... Drinking on roofs, being close friends, etc.
June - Paris! Unforgettable in that way that summer study abroad trips are wont to be, sex, etc. <3 .="." crepes.="crepes." disaster.="disaster." nbsp="nbsp" p="p">July - Blur of work work work work and really not that much play. A couple visits to friends here and there, nothing cray.
August - work work work work no play.
September - longest month ever. Discovered horrible things. etc.
October - Turned 20. Whatever.
November - Ew. Probably the most hectic crazy month to date. Hated it.
December - Meh. Got better? Maybe? Forgot mom's birthday because of emotional breakdown, repent with flowers, started taking action in the form of pharmaceuticals. Got second ear piercing in celebration of 2012 being the fuck over. Also, the world did not end. 

Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: Another Year in Review

This year... Oh boy. Rang it in with my family, as tradition dictates, though this year might mark a modification of that tradition. Then, there was all of the tumultuous adjusting for me.

January - February: Hailstorm of confusion.

March: Double that. Plus, a really fun spring break, thanks to some great college friends who, even though I haven't been as close to recently, are still pretty awesome. (I.e. Bill's Cape house, the ziggarut, Choi's featuring Dakota v. A and yummy Italian sandwiches also)

April: Like I even remember. Marathon Monday weekend was wild. Staying up until 7 a.m., Wild. April Fool's day was epic, and not without a fair amount of seran wrap.

May: Started with a bang, ended with me watching all of West Wing, never to be the same again.

June: Internship. Misery. Lamenting my unpaidness, having first world problems, being a brat, yadayada, not really seeing anyone except Choi in the city and for an hour after work.

July: The Boston Goth Club trip--never made it to the Goth club. The three musketeers, Intercontinental Boston, Parrot Bay, 7-Eleven bought mixers and snacks, 2 40's Bud Light. Oh, and going off of 2 hours of sleep, thank you HP7PII MIDNIGHT PREMIERE. Caroline's visit, epic meal times, all in all pretty awesome. Also, possibly the month I was accosted by a 'psychic,' thus prodding me to visit a Wiccan store in E Vill.

August: Ahh, sweet freedom--barely worked because the schedule was too airtight, traveled across the East Coast (to ME and CT, anyway) partied hardied--saw Friends With Benefits 3x, hot-tubbed and had a shore time in OOB, saw the palm reader whose predictions didn't come true, went to CT and ran around a beautiful house while wine-drunk and stepping on glass--the fab 4 was that one.

September: The month of horrifying weekends, during which I was much too intoxicated to be awake, but remained awake, unfortunately, and therefore humiliated myself just about beyond repair, thank god for forgiveness and hazy memories, and probably just the general willingness to let things go. My goodness. The things I would change about this month... Where to even begin...

October: Calmer, but still stormy seas.

November: Starting to reach some kind of normalcy, routine, etcetera. Thanksgiving break was much needed this year...also chock full of work. Stopped sleeping at night. Slept in, skipped too much class (it was just the one! and it turned out fine...) Lots of drama, though. 11/11/11!!! Awesomeeee... kind of.

December: Decided to train for the marathon. Still training, but extremely bored with running. Have decided to begin alternate, more exciting workout plans...

Overall, I think I've gone through some pretty significant emotional changes, though not really. I guess it's more like I've become more aware of the way I handle situations, for better or worse. I've learned more about myself, certainly, and come to the conclusion that I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I don't think there is, in so many words. I have, however, acknowledged that I can make rash decisions when it comes to the pursuit of men, and that the fact it is a 'pursuit' is perhaps a fundamental flaw. On the other hand, I believe I deserve a great love, a challenging, but greatly rewarding love that will inspire a novel, the bestselling instant classic I will someday write, though it will be the type that is passed around the literati, read over champagne and pretentious murmurs, because that is the audience I want to impress.

I stopped making official resolutions a while ago, and I've come to realize that over the years, I've become less sentimental about objects, and more about events and moments and things that I'll always try to relive in my mind, like that one time... Wall. Oh, nostalgia. Sweet, sweet monster.

I suppose, if I were to make any resolutions, it would be to take better care of my body, my mental health, and my self-worth, to love my family more and better, to be less paranoid and slower to jump to conclusions, to continue training for the marathon (this one's not really an option. At this point, I have to run it), and to, of course, continue striving to become a better person.

With the highest (but not too high) hopes and greatest belief for the upcoming year,


Happy New Year to all.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

On their wonted haunt exiled...

I have been alive for nearly a quarter of a century. Okay, "nearly" might still be somewhat of an exaggeration, but I'm nearly, nearly a quarter there. I have not learned a single thing. Well, that's also a big of a hyperbole, but to be honest, I don't think I've learned the right lessons in terms of romantic interests.




Earlier this year, as in sometime during the summer as I was lamenting my unpaid existence and my lack of a social life thanks to my daily 6 FREAKING AM wake-up call, I went through some of my old blog posts. You know, on el-jay and stuff. And lo and behold, I was struck by a frightening realization. I could have been talking about anyone. Those pathetic, angst-ridden posts about the Boy of the Year/Season/Week were devastating, and so, so apropos, even now. Of course, I like to think that as I go on, I do make progress. Which I do. It's just that, along with the progress comes an increased level of insanity. I guess I wouldn't actually consider myself to be mentally unstable, or anything like that, but I would like to admit that it is unhealthy, to follow patterns this way and have no intention of really changing things because I have a hard time truly convincing myself it's bad for me. So I just spend the time conjuring up horrifying scenarios and glaring at people with preemptive suspicion and indignation. Completely uncalled for...Most of the time. But you never know.




I guess I should just openly come out and say that I apparently do have jealousy issues. I always fancied myself one of those girls who would be above it all, who would have the greatest of faith in all her friends, to the point where I can sit back and relax, and honestly believe that none of my girls would go for the Guy. Then I hit puberty, met some bitches who changed my views for the worst, and decided that I actually trust no one. Also, it's been done before. Yeah, girl who is the BFFFFFF, not going to halt something she thinks might be real for your benefit. Lo siento, mamacita, pero novios estan mas importante que sus amigas. No matter what your coffee mug says. Hos over bros? Yeah. Right. Enter Bro. Sure, I'm a little biased by my bitterness, but I don't think it's too far from the truth.




The truth is, girls will, for the most part, do anything for a guy. She won't admit it, but it's completely true. Of course, she'll still be there for her drunk and crying best friend, but right after she finishes holding her hair as she pukes up the last of her vodka shots and puts her to bed, she will go find the guy. She will stay up for him, no questions asked, until whenever. If she really can't keep her eyes open and it hasn't reached that level of sleeping on the shoulder, possibly sleeping over/under, then she'll reluctantly say a prolonged goodbye. But that's only if shereally, really can't stay awake. She will not stay up for her friend, who she knows will be there in the morning, probably, and who also cannot give her the action she so desperately wants, except under extreme circumstances... i.e. a drunk crisis. This is awful. This is the fulfillment of a stereotype that makes feminists cringe. This is basically built into girl DNA. As for the exceptions, it's just because they haven't given into their nature. That's my firm belief. I stand by it. Guilty until proven innocent.




As hypocritical as it will make me sound, I'm sick of talking about boys. Mostly because I don't want to, (read: can't comfortably) think about boys. Thinking about boys means thinking about negative things and thinking about negative things means staring blankly at a wall/ceiling/computer screen waiting for the melancholic nostalgia to wear off. It means not being able to concentrate on the anatomy of the brain and the functions of each part, something I very much need to know for my upcoming class, which I did not take the prerequisites for. Which I will probably certainly regret, but I'm willing to give it a shot so that I might possibly gain some insight as to why people do the things they do. Why I do the things I do. I'm very good at psychoanalyzing myself, or so I like to think. I think I'm very aware of what I'm doing wrong, which Aristotle would say makes me closer to morality than the fool who doesn't know.




I'm ranting a bit at this point. I haven't done it freely in so long, and honestly, I'm still holding back. If I let everything just free fall from my fingertips into the ether of the internet, well, I don't know what I'd do. I'm trying to figure out what I want.




I want reciprocity. I want ease. I want passion. I want something that far transcends mediocrity.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Revelations

I finished my first week of work. It was harder and more exhausting than I thought. I mean, I knew that I'd probably resent the whole getting up at 6 am thing, but I had no idea it would be this deep. In any case, I've noticed a few things about New York City--it's an hour away but universes apart from my small hometown.

1.) People are always in a crazy rush to get somewhere--anywhere, it seems, whether it's Central Park or work, when given the option, people always choose to run up the escalator. The escalator, which is already designed to make things faster. In the meantime, the stairs are avoided like the plague.

2.) Everyone, for the most part, is really tall and thin and dresses extremely well. Could be because it's Midtown by 5th Avenue where I am.

3.) When it comes to catching the subway at rush hour, it's no mercy, lawyer-eat-CEO world.